Monday, April 23, 2007

politically correct?

this is my fifth week working at this new place.

i'd rather say that i am not quite like it here. it's just. weird. it is the same feeling that i have when i was in tt. but..here, it does not have that faculty feeling, it is much more like a design consultancy company where all designers are placed in one bunch. maybe it's the way they have structured the office area that made me feel that way. or maybe i'm not the type who is cool enough to be with the bunch. *sigh. everyone is busy busy busy. when i'm not 'that' busy, i felt left out. i felt like what should i do here? should i offer myself to help them out? or wait for them to ask for my favour? or just simply do more research on the subjects that i should be teaching? or i have to go hanging at their tables and chit chatting? for me, being a new staff, id rather try to prepare myself for work. i'm not the type who likes to disturb other people's work to ask stupid questions and promote myself so that i could be in the 'group'. maybe like a good friend of mine said, i should just be me. be myself. or maybe here, the 'seniority' is important. or maybe i am placed in a room full of 'leaders' they are not keen on asking me to hang out with them, 'them' i mean is those people outside. maybe they are afraid that i might tell the leaders what they have been doing, their activities..etc..etc. yes, we have two different worlds, a large hall filled with lecturers, admin execs, etc, whereby there is this room where all the course leaders are placed. or maybe i used to work with a bunch of malay and here it is a mixture of all races? i've noticed that in this new place, people are trying hard to be noticed. we need to be fashionable, we need to look great, we need to be pretty and handsome so that people will accept you. and here, being pretty and handsome you will get all the attentions that you want, if you're lucky, the 'kambing hitams' will do the work for u! i've heard storieslah, being unfair, political stuff, how they can get more without doing any work..yadayadayada. argh, i hate it that way. i hate it!

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